Allowed To Be Happy
by Shadrak3
Summary: While out in nature, Sayori finds that even in happy moments the rainclouds often come back - but they don't have to always win.


The crackling and crunching of freshly fallen leaves underfoot sounded audibly through the trees, nearly echoing amidst the sea of silence all around. As a breeze filtered through the woods, she zipped up her hoodie to protect from the chilly autumn air. Taking a deep breath, she smiled brightly, enjoying the fresh air and gazing around at the red, yellow and orange leaves scattered all around.

As she continued to walk along, Sayori noticed a spot between three trees where many leaves seemed to have piled up. With a grin, she ran towards them and hopped into the pile, laughing with glee. No one was around, nothing was stopping her. After rolling around for a while, she stopped and just laid on her back, staring at the reddening sky. The sun was setting earlier and earlier now, but even after being let out from class, there was enough time to enjoy some daylight. As she watched the clouds drift by, she allowed her mind to drift along with them. To her plans for winter break, what her friends would be doing, and of course, potential dates. Her bright smile seemed to brighten further, with no required effort.

After what felt like an eternity, Sayori got up and brushed the straggling leaves off of herself, laughing a bit as she found some stuck in her hood. Stepping out from the pile, she headed down the path she had been on before. As nice as the trees were, she had somewhere else in mind to go. With a hop and a skip to her steps, she hummed a tune she had heard many times at school. Not out of a need to show others, but from a true happiness she couldn't describe and couldn't stop loving.

As the sky was becoming a dark blue, she reached her destination. A vast lake stretched out before her, the calm, rippling water reflecting the setting sun's pink hues. Stepping down onto a fishing dock covered in moss from decades of use, she walked to the edge of it, sitting down with a sigh of contentment, gazing over the lake. A light breeze continually flowed past, the cold air nipping at the skin on her face. Her smile didn't fade, though, and she simply closed her eyes, listening to the light breeze, the sound of tiny waves of water hitting the shoreline, and the dock swaying on the surface.

Several minutes passed, before she shivered, a wave of trepidation flowing over her. Eyes opening quickly, she found herself staring down at her own reflection in the water. Aside from her messy hair, the first thing she noticed was the leaf stuck in her hair she hadn't been aware of.

_You're so unkempt._

Her peaceful smile faded a bit.

_Childish, can't take care of yourself – why would anyone like someone like you?_

Sayori pressed her lips into a firm line and brushed the leaf away.

"I have lots of friends who love me just the way I am."

The leaf gently swayed back and forth as it floated downwards.

_They're just pitying you, you know that. No one could ever like you. You're lazy and selfish, wasting all your time out here._

The leaf landed on the water lightly, sending a shockwave of ripples in the water around it.

"I'm only human, just like them, and they know that. I'm working hard at learning to take care of myself, and being here is part of that. I'm allowed to be happy."

_You know it's useless, you can't take care of yourself. You barely get out of bed in the morning._

"But I do get out of bed, and I am getting up earlier. I'm even working on making my own meals!"

The ripples started to fade away.

_But they always go wrong._

"It's all part of the learning process."

_It'll never end._

"We're always learning."

_Everyone else learns faster than you, though. They're all smarter than you, and must look down on you._

"My friends all love me for who I am and know what makes me special. And I love them for who they are and know what makes each of them special."

_They're special in good ways, though. You're only special in bad ways._

"I'm special in lots of good ways, just like them. They always tell me that just seeing me cheers them up!"

_They're lying to you. How could they enjoy being around you?_

"Because we have fun together, and spend time together, and laugh together, and even cry together."

_But they're just putting up with your antics because they have to. You don't have any actual friends._

"That's not true. I have wonderful friends that care for me and enjoy having me around, and an amazing boyfriend who has been there for me through everything. Helping me cook, clean, get up everyday, learn to take care of myself... and who took the time and effort to learn about my condition... and has been holding my hand through it all."

Sayori blinked twice in quick succession, realizing she was staring intently at her own reflection, nearly falling forwards into the water. She sat back up with a start.

Looking around, she took several deep breaths and adopted a small, genuine smile as the setting sun finally passed behind the treetops.

**(Special thanks to SonnyJimXI, Cù Chulainn (alter), and keii. from the r/DDLC subreddit's Discord server for helping me with the inspiration for this story.)**


End file.
